Monday, 2 March 2015


Dear Jack, I want you to focus and
determine your priorities. As a man
you have to be mindful of
achievement. Whether we
acknowledge such or not, your
determination to succeed will impact
your girlfriend’s love for you. Being
real! No one wants to date a loser! Or
a non-achiever. You've got to focus
on achievement.

You've got to have a primary project
every year - something momentous
you’re pursuing for the year. It may
be buying a car, or moving house, or
travelling, or getting a promotion, or
certification. It’s important for you to
be moving in the direction of your
dream, but it’s also important you
FEEL you’re moving up. If your
girlfriend thinks you’re not going to be
an achiever, truth is, you may lose
her to an achiever. The lazy man
soon loses his wife to the industrious
and successful, says that African

Giving an option, no one wants to
date a man without a future. If you
keep making excuses for non-
directional propulsion of your life you
will lose her. You must have drive;
you must have a burning desire to
succeed. Desire for attainment is why
you do your work with all you've got,
why you put in your all. It’s why
you’re diligent. Desire for achievement is why we’re proactive, it’s why we make the best use of the  opportunities we have. It’s why we go
to work early, and put in the extra.
You must be committed and faithful if
you want to succeed. Never
underestimate what it will take to
succeed. You’ll need to put a whole
lot into it.

Note however that zeal without
knowledge is bad. That means all the
passion without an intelligent
approach to work won’t get you far.
From a certain level on, promotion is
based on grey matter, not red sinew.
I want you to want to succeed. Desire
for success is critical. Without desire
you can’t and won’t succeed.
Success is not valuable to you. You
build confidence when you have the
right attitude towards success.
Then you girlfriend won’t feel she’s
dating some lazy bum who keeps
rolling on the bed like a door on oiled
hinges. She’ll know you’re going
somewhere; that it’s just a matter of
time and opportunity. Solomon said
time and chance happen to all. That
means your opportunity will come.
But will you be ready? You've got to
be prepared. Stay focused and
hungry. Even the grace of God is
partial to diligence.

As you grow older your responsibility
will increase. If your responsibility is
reducing as you grow older something
is not right. Others are carrying your
burden. Not many women are keen to
take on the responsibilities of a man.
It’s wearying. You must develop
capacity to take on responsibility. It’s
why you work hard to succeed.
Please don’t believe all those fairy
tales about successful men working
just a few hours a day. And don’t be
deceived by stories of the successful
man who does nothing but play golf
all day. Trust me, he’s conducting his
business on the golf course. The golf
partners are business prospects. You
have all these false notions on
succeeding that young men buy into.
Successful men work hard! And they
keep pushing. Successful men know
their onions. And their tomatoes.

And you have to become successful
before you become successful. That’s
the lesson from Joseph. Joseph was
successful as a slave. Think about
that. Success comes in levels. Are
you successful at the level you are?
Rich men know they can lose
everything in one day. Ask Job. It’s
why they keep working. Recently read
of a rich man on Forbes List who lost
50% of his value in just two weeks!
He lost $12.2bn to the vagaries of
the stock market and the truculence
of exchange rate mechanism. In two
weeks! “In the blink of an eye wealth
disappears, for it will sprout wings
and fly away like an eagle.”

You want to be a man who can take
care of his woman, and take care of
his children. Responsibility defineth
the man. Even if your wife is
successful you want her to respect
you. You won’t get respect living off
her. Neither do you get respect being
jobless, and your only certification is
dexterous gigolo-ic virility. What a
career! At some point life will catch
up on you. Your virility will wind down
Viagra, vitamins or not. You’ll simply
lose appetite.

It’s important you set the right tone
for your life, that you set yourself on
a good course. It’s not where you
start that matters. It’s your
determination to keep going, to keep
pushing, on the inside of you. It’s
about your determination to become a
man of reckoning, to bend the
challenges of your life to your
advantage. And women recognize that
resolve. They have the uncanny
ability to discern the possibilities of a
man’s life. At some point infantile
notions of love and affection will bow
to the crude realities of expectations
of responsibility.

When there’s no money a marriage
soon wakes from fairy tales of love.
Love and responsibility are co-
travellers. It’s one thing to dream of
giving your girlfriend a wonderful
valentine experience; it’s another
thing to pay for it. And you can write
all the love letters you like, but at
some point life will ask you to
substantiate your love with means.
And don’t forget that whilst you’re
wasting your life, your peers are
zipping past you. Life is a racetrack.
What do you want to become? You
must at least have an idea. What do
you plan to achieve? Are you making
the best of the opportunities you
have? Are you diligent at work? Life is
a like a draft pick. You never really
pick a woman; she picks you, and
women know whom to pick. You want
to be an assured gentleman, so full of
faith. But you must back your faith
with endeavor. I wish you success in
this sometimes awful project we call

Your mentor, LA
© Leke Alder |

Contact Leke Alder via:
Twitter: @Leke_Alder

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