Sunday, 24 November 2013

When the blindness of love wears off

Amaka loves tall, strongly built men in jeans and tight-fitting T-shirt. She met one such beau at the Bar Beach in Lagos early this year.

Luckily for her, she was also beautiful. Luckier still, the guy made advances to her and it was like one blessed Saturday for her.

After the initial ako (stalling) she gave in. And after food and drinks at a restaurant on the Island, the guy wanted to seal the relationship with love-making. But Amaka never made that mistake of sex-at-first-meeting. Yet again, she had her way.

The guy who was in "love" checked her in her office on Monday, Tuesday. By Wednesday, Amaka had fallen so deeply in love that she would do everything for him. The guy was special, exactly the man of her dreams.

They were together in his place all weekend. Amaka was on the moon.

Three weeks later, the love glasses dropped when the guy slapped her in anger. Amaka was disillusioned! She was devastated when the guy said the only thing about her was her big boobs.

Strangely, it was then she began to wonder why she hadn't noticed his temper and even his foul body odour.

When the blindness of love had worn off, there is pain, disillusionment, regret and relationships are threatened.

Psychologists suggest that as one eventually discovers flaws in his or her "special one", there should be evaluative change to counter the negative information. The negative attributes should be measured against the positives.

Obviously the cost of love blindness is high, and that is one area the saying of Lagosians "shine your eye" has fitting application.

Culled from Bola Abass' column: "Real Life Forum" in the Sun Newspaper, Sunday 24th November, 2013.

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